Archive for the 'Networking' Category

Afraid to talk to strangers?

I found this post by Gavin Ingham today and it really struck a chord. So much so that it has galvanised me into action on a long neglected ‘To do’, namely ‘Update MBSProgress blog!’

It’s been too long since I updated here, and I shall endeavour to explain later on. For now, Gavin’s post is essentially regarding a possible correlation between fear of cold calling and the childhood advice a lot of us received when growing up ‘Don’t talk to strangers’.

Is this well meaning advice, drilled into some over and over again in a form of parental brainwashing, preventing sales people from achieving their dreams by making them hesitant to engage with potential clients in later life.  I have to say, I think there may be something in this, and it begs the question of how future generations will deal with similar challenges in a world where ‘real life’ interactions are increasingly being replaced by online associations.  It’s certainly a more subtle form of brainwashing than the Stranger Danger messaging, but if people don’t gain experience of ‘face to face’ ,  ‘voice to voice’ or sometimes even ‘real person to real person’ interactions, how will they fare when they’re plunged into the real world and expected to cope?

What do you think?


Write your own story!

So the first day of the new year is over. How many of us made New years resolutions I wonder, and how many of those resolutions now lie in splinters on the floor, circumstances ‘beyond our control’ having forced us to break them ‘against our own wishes’.

Did you know that in a survey some time ago of 1200 managers, 4% of them were classified as peak performers?

What was the common denominator here? This 4% all took full responsibility for themselves, their teams, and their results. There was no blaming of others, no blaming of circumstances, in fact, no blame at all. Even when questioned about poor outcomes there was no ‘self kicking’, just a rational analysis of what went wrong in an effort to find a better way for next time. This top 4% are the ones who realise that they write the story of their own lives, and thats a pretty powerful realisation.  Once you accept this, it can give you a power over your own destiny that was never possible up til that point.

You can picture this concept quite simply. Picture an open book – on the left side, the pages are filled with text, on the other side, they are completely blank.  The left side is the bits that no one person can control. The environment, other people, society, culture etc. The things we just have to deal with. Its important to see though, that although we may not have ‘control’ over this side of the book, we can influence it in many ways, because the other side is ALL written by us. If we don’t like the way things are going, we can change the story.

We can write a new page every day, or we can write a chapter all at once as a guide, but it is up to every one of us to write our own story the way we WANT to write it. If the story’s not working out so well, change it! If you can’t change it all at once, change little bits. Make the story work for you.

The important thing is that you take responsibility for your own life and, well, write it yourself.

Good luck!

Networking – Quantity or quality?

There’s an interesting debate on one of the networking sites I use today.  If you head here, there’s a fairly lively discussion on the merits of accepting or declining a networking invitation from someone you don’t really know.

I wonder what people really think about this. Is networking more about the quality of the contacts you have, or is it a mainly quantity based phenomenon where amassing large numbers of contacts is the key to success?  I’m not a networking expert, and I’m not going to try to be. I have however done a fair bit of networking in the past, both traditionally in the ‘go out and meet people’ sense, and the more modern way of doing it online.  The discussion I pointed to above is based really on the online networking, but it’s a valid point in whatever form you choose to use. It also has additional ramifications with the way contacts might be penalised by declining their invitations . I’m going to ignore this question here and just ask – Do you network with everybody, or pick and choose carefully?

Consider this for a moment. If you kept the details of everyone you met, would you be confident in referring those people to friends?  If you collected the business card of a financial advisor 2 years ago whom you’ve not met before or since, would their number be the one you give to a friend in need.   I think the answer is probably not; more likely definitely not! So by default we are already performing some sort of pre-qualification around our networking acquaintances. How do you think you come across to them? Are you someone who hands out cards and then flits away into the night like some kind of business ninja, never to be seen again?  If you are, then from my own perspective, yours will be one of the cards that I routinely discard at the end of the week. If I can’t match up a name, face and conversation with a card, it is unlikely to make it into my networking file.

You may think that’s harsh, but whats the alternative?  We could keep every card, every contact, every telephone number and name of everyone that I bump into at any event, anywhere. In fact, quite a lot of people seem to try to do this. In the online networking world it results in huge numbers of contacts, this is true. But are they relationships that you could pick up the phone and ask for with any likelihood of them remembering who you are?  In the traditional world of business cards, it results in huge files of business cards and I have personally seen people look at a page and shrug their shoulders because they don’t know anyone in the file!

Networking is a strategy like anything else, so we should have an idea of the results we want to achieve from it. This will be different in almost every case, so I’m not going to cover it here; suffice to say there MUST be a strategy of some sort. If there isn’t, we need to ask ourselves the questions “What do I want to get from this?” and “What am Iachieving at the moment?”.   My personal strategy is based around quality. I network with people whom I know and trust and I would be happy to refer. Its easy to break into that circle – come talk to me. Don’t just hand me a business card and disappear. You’ll have wasted your card and the time it took to give it to me. If you talk to me though, let me get to know what you do,  how you do it and why you would be a beneficial contact for people I already know – that is what my networks are about. Anything else and I might as well have picked up the phone book.

What’s your networking strategy? Quality or quantity? Real relationships or phone book networking?   I’d love to know.

About me.

A professional speaker focused on helping people get more out of their day; for themselves and their companies.
I help people get things done by helping them realise that all the knowledge in the world will do absolutely NOTHING for them - if they don’t use it.
I want to change the world, and getting the right people in the right place is only the start. In todays world it is so, so easy to get pulled into doing all the wrong things. I help people figure out what the right and wrong things are and make sure their energies are focused in the right place.
Feel free to comment, or you can contact me by emailing markbell AT mbsprogress DOT com